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kldzbop:

tiqhtly:

kldzbop:

hey what do horses eat read the first letter

horses eat h?????

fuck

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hotsuburbandad:

This is fake. They haven’t been sat on that rock for 50 years. If you look closely you can clearly see her swimsuit is different in the second photo, it has stripes on it. And the guy’s shorts seem to have a more floral pattern in the latter photo.Also, if someone sat on a rock for 50 years, it would have made the news. My theory is, they simply returned to the same location 50 years later, and recreated the original photo.
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poptwart:

virginsacrificer:

is that john green

its a metaphor
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gallifrey-feels:

runandhideinanothermind:

revisitnormal:

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:


Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
 Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.



No, but you forgot the best one
Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room

Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.

Nostradamus oh my god
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krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

image

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cannedebonbon:
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braydaaan:

"Study" they say, "How to study" they don’t say.

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brushmepls:

castieltherebel:

good thing he’s buying pampers cause he just shat his pants

can someone please edit this with spiderman pulling him with his web
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strangeasanjles:

2cutetopuke:

A woman hitting a neo-nazi with her handbag, Sweden, 1985. The woman was reportedly a concentration camp survivor.

Good.
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ohdamnthosecheekbones:

sheisdrawntothefire:

Fun Fact: I am VERY bad a hydrating myself. If I ever die unexpectedly it’s probably because I just forgot to drink water for a week. 

Hail hydration

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metalsette:


there’s a rip off of bee movie called plan bee and this is what the characters look like and I am no longer afraid to die
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unlawfully:

Having a cute waiter like I’ll have the chicken with a side of that dick

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shinigamipsyche:

avenging-sherl0ck:

whateveriwannapost:

spahck:

not offending people on tumblr is really hard 

OH MY GOD
NOT EVERYONE ON TUMBLR GETS OFFENDED ALL THE TIME

image

Tumblr in one post

(Source: einsteinrosenbridges)

THEME